Soap made of heroes

“Let's look at each other's face.. We are hyperboreans1 – We know very well how we live apart. (...) We discovered that happiness, we know the way, we take away this wisdom from the thousands of years in the labyrinth.”2 That way Nietzsche starts his The Antichrist – a book of direct criticism to Christianism. Well, despite the fact that I’m being old, I confess that I didn’t live in 19th Century (although my wife, who is Kardec Spiritist, believes in this possibility), or at least if I lived I’ve no sufficient memories to know the truth of Nietzsche’s statement when the book was released, in 1888, but I can claim that about this beginning of 21st Century: we, the men (in this text when I use the words man and men I will be speaking about they as sex, don’t as the species Homo sapiens sapiens) don’t discovered the happiness, we don’t know the way and we are lose in the labyrinth, with aggravating factor that Ariadne will not pull us by the ball of wool because she’s a modern woman, independent, and she considers us the evil of the world3.
I like a metaphor used by Johnson12, who identifies us with Percival. Sir Percival, explains Johnson, was a knight of the Round Table who was created by his mother, without the participation of the father and away from the masculine world, which is characterized by battles and duels (any similarity to the doctrine that sees the masculine with bad eyes isn’t mere coincidence). Protected from reality through maternal zeal, Sir Percival was required to, suddenly, confront the world of men, which is represented for King Arthur’s knights, without any guidance on how to act other than following the naive advices of his mother, advices that made him act improperly. According Johnson, the men of today, as Sir Percival, would be confused about his own male identity, because we don’t have an Ariadne to help us to get out of the labyrinth of mother’s world to men’s world.
Indeed, the modern men is in crisis. He know he isn’t the Neanderthal that his genes make him, but neither he feels at easy in the new role where he should to assume his emotions, to divide the housework, to split the maternity, to be politically correct and to love modern dance. He knows that he’s not anymore the knight who will save the damsel in distress (at least, the damsel now trains Brazilina jiu-jitsu and she faces the dragon from the front), and he feels lost without knowing his role in modern society, or how to act on a day-to-day: to harass women isn’t right, but if he don’t comes on strongly they will consider him as a looser; he should to do half of housework, but just the women can retire early for double journey; he has his testosterone levels decreasing decate to decade4 (the hypotheses for this  range from changes in food to “symbolic castration”), but he should still lead in his pencil; he needs to accept, because it is politically correct, that men and women are physically equal (regarding the rights and duties I agree they should be), that men’s and women’s brains work in the same way (although science says the opposite5) e that, therefore, all differences between men and women are socially constructed; if he isn’t as sensible as a woman, doesn’t recognize as many colors as a woman, is more aggressive, works best with 3D images, is better in math but worse in languages and prefers exact sciences than humanities, prefers toy guns than dolls is just because he was taught in this way, his hormones and the fact that his brain works in a different way (to know more about how this differences have biological and biochemical explanations see reference 5) this is just because patriarchal society likes in this way6... summarizing, so that the women can assume they role in the society (something undoubtedly necessary), the society preaches that men must suppress everything that is natural or instinctive, although even some feminists disagree that this is positive7, and surely this is one of the causes of the growing rate of men with depression and committing suicide, the main cause in deaths of men above 45 years8.
Besides all this, the men should be productive, get rich or die trying, at least, the market needs us to produce so it can continue to function, Capitalism is an entity that feeds on what itself produces; according Palahniuk/Fincher in Fight Club9:  [we are] consumers, we're the by-products of a lifestyle obsession (…) we read what we are told to read, we think what we are told to think, we buy what we are told we need. (…) you are not your job, you are not how much money you have in the bank, you are not the car you drive, you are not the contents in your wallet (…) the thing you own, end up owing you”, or my favorite phrase from the same movie: “we’re working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need”. We are as Jack (the character is called that way, although he has no name either in the book or in the movie), we are insomniacs consoling us among other castrated men, changing our happiness for refined sofas or ying-yang tables, with the refrigerator full of spices, but without meat, because eating meet is speciesism10.
How to get away from this labirinth? Well, I don’t have a recipe ready, but I encountered myself in the fight club. Ok, although the firs rule is you don’t talk about fight club, and the second rule is you don’t talk about fight club, I agree with Lisboa11 who says just children don’t perceive this rule is a tempting bait made precisely to children disobey it, as part of the process of question all authorities. It is necessary to fight for personal enlightenment, to kill your family, your god, your teacher (as said Zen master Linji Yixuan: if Buddha disrupts his enlightenment, kill Buddha; it is interesting to remember that in the end of Fight Club Jack kills Tyler, the responsible for his enlightenment; or in the Nietzsche’s words “don’t carry dead on the back”13). I kill my Buddha and my devils practicing Karate, training kata until my muscles hurt, beating my hands against a stone because “without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing (…) the first soap was made of heroes’ ashes”9. However, you don’t need necessarily understand your spiritual pain transforming it in physical pain (some related to Zen and some others spiritual doctrines, including some strands of Christianism), you just need to know it’s your life, and this is ending minute by minute, therefore, it’s not important how you will fight, but you need to fight, even because, according Jack9, after a night of fight the real world’s volume gets lower, and you can hear better your own thinkings; start fighting, show that you are alive! If you don’t claim your own humanity you transform yourself in statistics, moreover, “How much do you know yourself if you've never been in a fight?”9
Drop the TV, forget the broken refrigerator, don’t care if what you search doesn’t please to those who surround you, if it isn’t “politically correct”. However, a necessary disclaimer: don’t confuse the search for your own way, of your own “kokoro” with totalitarianism or fundamentalism; don’t forget that what is is your heart is your way, not the way of others. Others have their own ways, sometimes totally opposite to your, but they have the same right to the pursuit of happiness and personal fulfillment; to know yourself a man, with male body and male brain, who does not appreciate ballet, vegetarian bacon or talk about feelings can’t be confused with homophobia or sexism, but rather with the discovery and affirmation of self.

The affirmation of the masculine self nor should be confused with emotional irresponsibility since the differences between men and boys one of the most important is boys aren’t committed to caring for those they love, for the simple reason that no one expects them to do so. Boys, by definition, are cared by for adults. On the contrary, a man only becomes a man when he takes care of others, when he doesn’t escape from emotional involvement with people, and assumes the responsibility of watching, protecting and being with those who love: his companion, his parents, his children, his friends. Men construct, men preserve what is good. They don’t destroy indiscriminately. They prefer to improve what exist, eliminating what is defective with discretion and respect for human life. The very statement of “killing your parents and teachers”, which obviously don’t talk about murder, doesn’t mean lost the love and friendship for those who passed by your life, but to let go of concepts that are no longer useful to you and were taught by them. To be an adult is to form his own idea of world, with parts that were learned in all the way, but according to one's personal vision, washing with soap what is no longer useful and without the fear of pain, for the soap is made of heroes.
Be happy, follow your path and don’t forget it: If you find the Buddha on the way, kill the Buddha.

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1 – Ancient Greeks believed that in the North end of the Earth lived a people that enjoyed eternal happiness, the Hyperboreans, who never warred, got sick, nor grew old. Without gods’ help his territory was unreachable.
2 – NIETZSCHE, F. O Anticristo. São Paulo: Centauro, 2004.
3 – In the Greek mithology, Ariadne is the princess of Creta, daughter of the King Minos and the Queen Pasiphaë, she helped Theseus when this was Crete as a sacrifice to the Minotaur who lived in the labyrinth built by Daedalus. To help Theseus in his fight, Ariadne gave a sword and a ball of wool so he could find his way back, because she would be holding one end of the labyrinth, thus securing both the victory of Theseus on the Minotaur (who he killed with the sword) and his return from the labyrinth of which no one found the way out, so well designed that it was.
4 – LEVINE, H.; JØRGENSEN, N.; MARTINO-ANDRADE, A.;  DAN WEKSLER-DERRI, J.M.;  MINDLIS, I.; PINOTTI, R.; SWAN, S.H. Temporal trends in sperm count: a systematic review and meta-regression analysis. In: Oxford Academic, 25 jul 2017. Available at [https://academic.oup.com/humupd/article-lookup/doi/10.1093/humupd/dmx022]; access in 08 ago 2017.
5 – COELHO, M. Diferenças genéticas, neurobiológicas e físicas entre homens e mulheres e suas explicações naturais. In: Universo Racionalista, 6 ago 2017. Available at [https://universoracionalista.org/diferencas-geneticas-neurobiologicas-e-fisicas-entre-homens-e-mulheres-e-suas-explicacoes-naturais/]; access in 08 ago 2017.
6 – FAUSTO-STERLING, A. Sexing the Body: gender, politics and the construction of sexuality. New York: Basic Books, 2000.
7 – BUSCATO, M. Camille Paglia: "O feminismo não é honesto com as mulheres". In: Revista Época, 2 mar 2012. Available at [http://revistaepoca.globo.com/vida/noticia/2012/03/camille-paglia-o-feminismo-nao-e-honesto-com-mulheres.html]; access in 08 ago 2017.
8 – HEMMINGS, C. Male suicide: It's time to face the stark truth about a growing crisis. In: Independent, 10 set 2016. Available at [http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/world-suicide-prevention-day-men-emotions-childhood-biggest-killer-in-uk-under-45-a7235766.html]; access in 08 ago 2017.
9 – CLUBE da Luta. Direção David Fincher, Produção: Art Linson, Ceán Chaffin, Ross Grayson Bell. Los Angeles: 20th Century Fox, 1999. Baseado no romance homônimo de Chuck Palahniuk.
10 – ESPECISMO. In: Wikipedia: a enciclopédia livre. Available at [https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Especismo]; access in 08 ago 2017.
11 – LISBOA, V. O Clube da Luta é um filme sobre homens de verdade. In: Ano Zero, s/d. Available at [http://ano-zero.com/clube-da-luta/], access in 08 ago 2017.
12 – JOHNSON, R. He: A Chave Do Entendimento Da Psicologia Masculina. São Paulo, Mercuryo, 1995.
13 – NIETZSCHE, F. Assim falava Zaratustra. São Paulo: Editora Escala, 2008.

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