Hallelujah, Ataxerxes

Some time ago, an acquaintance of mine (she is evangelical) who, on occasion, remembers having the sacred mission of trying to convert this disbeliever, uttered a phrase: Jesus is my best friend. She also explain me is to Jesus that she appeal when she has problems, when she has douts, when she is sad…

I confess I thought about arguing for the umpteenth time that her faith (in spite of she having the right to follow it), makes no sense for me; that the fact that her believe doesn’t make it true; that being written in a book is not enough for me; that Pascal Wager (which says if you don’t believe and the believers are right you are lost, but if you believe and you are wrong you don’t lose anything) is a logical absurdity; that I’m not Christian, but Buddhist; and hundreds of other arguments that I have presented to her, unsuccessfully, thousands of times, firing, as the Bible says, pearls to pigs. After that I gave up, she is blind to rationality, and I realized that she lives in her world of make-believe and nothing I argue will change it. Perhaps even her feel happy about it! But the fact is, I was tired! This time I decided to be firmer, although I hated being rude, and I said to her: Jesus is your best friend? Aren’t you too old to have imaginary friends? From the face shd did, I think lacked just a bit for her jump me in the neck and shows how fierce God's love could be, but she restrained himself and closed the subject. If the conversation was over, however, my thoughts was still alive, and I got lost in they in the days that followed.

Imagine that I, who have a a running life full of uncertainties, and who since 1992 have not been a father figure to appeal, to straighten me out, to help me in times of crisis… I who so many times I had to overcome my sorrows alone or make my own decisions… how much maybe a figure like hers may be missing to fill the hole of my existence (until then I had not even realized that there was a hole in my existence!). Who knows in this absence of rationalism can be the key to happiness? And I, who until then had found me so happy! However, it is an important decision, then I did some weightings…

First, I remembered that I doesn’t like zombie stories – ok, Braindead by Peter Jackson and Planet Terror by Robert Rodriguez are cool, but generally they’re just a blood-and-gut, unattractive and without scares; so, I don’t think stories about supernatural beings who rose from the grave will make me feel better. In addition, our crisis make our economic life sufficient difficult, therefore, I do not think giving money to support the pastor can make me feel happier, even knowing how happy he would be with it; ok, maybe it is just selfish of me not wanting to make a pastor happy, but if even my genes are selfish (according Dawkins) then I think this can be excusable. Then, I remembered my friends are a select group. I’m not an elitist, but (maybe because of shyness), calling someone friend is something I don’t do frequently. I have hundreds of acquaintance, dozens of people who are nice, guys for whom I have great esteem, but friends are few. To me friends are as says a popular quote: brothers that we choose. In view of this, it seemed to me indigestible the idea of having as best friend someone who is already the best friend of so many people (is this the selfishness talking again?). For all these evaluations I discarded the crucified Jew, proposed by my friend, as my BFF. So… what to do?

Following Judaism or Islam? No, circumcision would be very painful, and Islam would require to abandon another friend: the beer, and my friends, as much as they are dear to me, cannot determine with whom I relate.

I even thought about Voodoo, but I remembered that I do not know how to dance.

Kardecism? No, beer has sufficient spirit for me.

After long time thinking, I have only one solution left; the only one that can be embedded in all the questions: I created my own imaginary friend! Its name is Ataxerxes (no relation to the Persian king, but will you say it is not a sound name?)

Ok, maybe it seems weird, maybe some people think I am being crazy, but as nerd I'm already considered queer! Besides, it is good to remember that faith we don’t argue. I have even asked, last night, that Ataxerxes introduce me to a hot and nymphobic blonde, who has a taste for little nerds - with the addition that my wife never knows it... Will I be satisfied? I really don’t know, but I’m hopeful, after all, imaginary by imaginary, I have as much chance of being blessed as any religious who prays for his divinity…